Recognizing and addressing power games in professional mentoring: real-world examples

Understanding power games in mentoring relationships

Why power dynamics matter in mentoring

Professional mentoring is often seen as a positive activity, where experienced people guide others through challenges and growth. But beneath the surface, power dynamics can shape the experience for both mentors and mentees. These dynamics are not always obvious. Sometimes, they emerge through subtle games people play, influencing group activities, team building, and even the way participants interact during mentoring sessions.

Power games in mentoring can be as simple as who gets to speak first in a large group, or as complex as a mentor steering a mentee’s choices without open discussion. The size of the group, the time spent together, and the activities chosen all play a role in how power is distributed. In July, for example, when teams often organize outdoor games or fun group activities, the way people play and interact can reveal underlying power structures. Men, women, kids, and even a single child in a group can experience these dynamics differently, depending on the group size and the nature of the activity.

How power games show up in mentoring

Power games are not always about open conflict. Sometimes, they are woven into the fabric of everyday mentoring. For instance, a mentor might dominate discussions, leaving little room for mentees to share their thoughts. Or, in a team setting, certain participants may be given more challenging tasks, while others are left with less meaningful roles. These games can impact problem solving, critical thinking, and the overall fun of the mentoring experience.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward addressing them. When people play games with power, intentionally or not, it can affect the group’s ability to work together and learn. Whether in a core group or a large open space, the way power is handled can make or break the mentoring relationship. If left unchecked, some mentees may feel excluded or will leave the program altogether, missing out on valuable time life lessons.

Understanding the roots of these power games is essential for building a healthy mentoring environment. For more on how conflicts of interest can lead to disengagement in mentoring, check out this resource on handling disengagement in mentoring caused by conflicts of interest.

Common power games examples in mentoring

How Power Games Show Up in Mentoring

Power games in professional mentoring can take many forms, often blending into everyday activities and team interactions. These games are not always obvious, but they can shape the experience of both mentors and mentees, especially in large groups or team settings. Understanding how people play these games is key to building trust and fostering growth.

• Withholding Information: Sometimes, a mentor may hold back critical information or resources, making the mentee work harder to access what they need. This can slow down problem solving and affect the mentee’s confidence.
• Favoritism in Group Activities: In group games or team building exercises, mentors might give more attention or opportunities to a core group of participants, leaving others feeling excluded. This can be especially noticeable in large group activities where group size makes it easy for some people to be overlooked.
• Setting Unclear Expectations: When mentors set vague goals or change expectations without notice, mentees may feel like they are playing a game they can never win. This can create confusion and frustration, impacting the overall fun and learning in the mentoring relationship.
• Using Authority to Dominate: Some mentors may use their position to direct every activity or decision, leaving little room for mentees to contribute ideas. This can stifle critical thinking and discourage people from taking initiative.
• Public Critique in Group Settings: Giving negative feedback in front of the team or large groups can be a subtle way to assert power. This approach can embarrass the mentee and discourage open communication.

These games people play are not limited to any one group size or activity. Whether it’s a day-long team building event in July or a quick problem-solving session, power dynamics can influence how participants engage and learn. Even in fun activities meant for kids or adults, the way people play and interact can reveal underlying power struggles.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step to addressing them. For more on navigating responsibility and influence in mentoring, check out this resource on navigating responsibility without authority in professional mentoring.

The impact of power games on mentees

How Power Games Shape the Mentee’s Experience

When power games enter a professional mentoring relationship, the impact on mentees can be significant and often long-lasting. These games—whether subtle or overt—can affect the confidence, growth, and overall experience of the person seeking guidance. In group settings or one-on-one, the influence of power dynamics often goes beyond the immediate activity or conversation.

• Reduced Confidence: Mentees may start to doubt their abilities or ideas, especially if the mentor uses their position to dominate discussions or dismiss input. Over time, this can lead to a reluctance to participate in team activities or group games, limiting the mentee’s development.
• Limited Participation: In large groups or team building exercises, power games can cause some participants to withdraw. When a core group or a single person controls the flow of activities, others may feel excluded or undervalued, reducing the fun and learning that should come from group size people play experiences.
• Stifled Problem Solving: Power games often discourage open critical thinking. If mentees sense that their ideas will be dismissed or that the mentor will always have the final say, they may stop offering creative solutions, which undermines the purpose of mentoring and group games designed for problem solving.
• Negative Emotional Impact: The stress of navigating power games can affect a mentee’s well-being. This may lead to anxiety, decreased motivation, or even the decision to leave the mentoring relationship altogether. For some, it can color their perception of future team activities or group games, making them less likely to engage.

It’s important to remember that these impacts are not limited to adults. In environments where kids or young people participate—such as youth mentoring or large group activities—the effects of power games can shape a child’s or young person’s confidence and willingness to play games or join group activities for years to come.

Recognizing how power games play out in real time is a crucial step for both mentors and mentees. Understanding yourself and your reactions to these dynamics is essential for building resilience and ensuring a positive mentoring journey. For more on this, see understanding yourself: the key to effective professional mentoring.

Recognizing subtle signs of power dynamics

Spotting the Hidden Signals in Mentoring Interactions

Recognizing subtle signs of power dynamics in professional mentoring can be challenging, especially when the relationship appears friendly or supportive on the surface. However, these undercurrents can shape the experience for both mentors and mentees, affecting everything from team activities to day-to-day problem solving.

• Unequal Participation in Group Activities: In large groups or team building games, notice if one person consistently dominates discussions or decision-making. This can limit the opportunity for others to contribute ideas or develop critical thinking skills.
• Control Over Time and Space: If a mentor always chooses the time, place, or format for meetings and activities, it may signal a subtle power play. This can make mentees feel like participants rather than equal partners in their own development.
• Selective Inclusion: Sometimes, mentors form a core group within a larger team, inviting only certain people to participate in fun group games or professional activities. This can leave others feeling excluded, impacting morale and the sense of belonging.
• Feedback as a Game: When feedback is given in a way that feels more like a game of control than genuine support, mentees may become hesitant to share their own perspectives. Watch for feedback that is vague, overly critical, or delivered in front of a large group rather than privately.
• Shifting Expectations: If the mentor frequently changes the rules or expectations for activities, projects, or group games, it can create confusion and uncertainty. This unpredictability is often a sign of underlying power games at play.

These signals can appear in both formal and informal settings, from structured team building exercises to spontaneous group games people play during breaks. The impact is not limited to adults; even kids and young professionals can sense when power games are present, affecting their willingness to participate and learn. Paying attention to these subtle cues helps participants and observers alike identify when the mentoring environment may need adjustment. By being aware of group size, the way activities are structured, and who gets to play or lead, people can better support a healthy, inclusive mentoring experience where everyone has the chance to grow.

Strategies to address and resolve power games

Practical steps for shifting unhealthy dynamics

Addressing power games in professional mentoring requires a mix of awareness, communication, and group strategies. These games can show up in subtle ways, especially in large groups or team activities, where the group size and the presence of a core group can influence how people play and interact. Here are some practical steps to help participants, whether men, women, or even younger mentees, navigate and resolve these challenges:

• Open up communication: Encourage honest conversations about group dynamics. When people feel safe to share their experiences, it becomes easier to spot when someone is trying to play power games or dominate the activity. This is especially important in team building or problem solving sessions, where group games can sometimes turn competitive or exclusive.
• Set clear expectations: At the start of any mentoring activity, clarify the purpose, rules, and roles. Whether it’s a fun game, a July team event, or a day-long group activity, making sure everyone knows what’s expected helps reduce confusion and the chance for unhealthy games to develop.
• Rotate roles and responsibilities: If the same person always leads or makes decisions, others may feel left out or powerless. By rotating roles—letting different people play leader, facilitator, or organizer—you give everyone a chance to participate and develop critical thinking skills.
• Encourage feedback: Create regular opportunities for group members to give feedback on how the mentoring process is going. This can be done after each activity or at the end of the day. Feedback helps identify if certain games or activities are making some participants uncomfortable or if the group size is affecting engagement.
• Use structured group games: Choose activities that promote collaboration rather than competition. Great simple games for large groups or open space can help break down barriers and ensure everyone, from kids to adults, feels included. These games people play together can build trust and reduce the urge to play power games.
• Model respectful behavior: Mentors should demonstrate the kind of behavior they expect from others. When mentors don’t engage in power games and treat all participants fairly, it sets a standard for the group.
• Address issues promptly: If a power dynamic or game is identified, address it as soon as possible. Don’t let it linger, as it can impact the time life of the group and may cause some people to leave or disengage.

Empowering all participants

The goal is to create an environment where everyone, regardless of group size or background, feels empowered to contribute. By focusing on activities that encourage participation and problem solving, and by being aware of the subtle ways power can play out in group settings, mentors can help build a healthier, more inclusive mentoring experience. This approach not only benefits the mentees but also strengthens the team as a whole.

Building a healthy mentoring environment

Encouraging Open Communication and Trust

Creating a healthy mentoring environment means making sure every person feels safe to speak up. Open communication helps participants share concerns about power games or group dynamics. When mentors and mentees trust each other, it’s easier to address issues before they grow. Regular check-ins, honest feedback, and clear expectations set the tone for a supportive team.

Designing Inclusive Activities for All Group Sizes

Whether you’re working with a core group or a large group, activities should be accessible and engaging for everyone. Group games and team building exercises can help break down barriers. For example, problem solving games people play together in an open space encourage collaboration and critical thinking. These activities are not just for kids or child development—they work for adults, men and women, and mixed teams too. Adjust the group size and type of game to fit your participants, making sure no one feels left out or dominated.

• Rotate leadership roles in group games to prevent one person from holding all the power.
• Choose activities that require input from every participant, not just the loudest voices.
• Use fun, simple games to build trust and break the ice, especially at the start of a new mentoring relationship or during a team day in July.

Setting Clear Boundaries and Roles

Defining roles and boundaries helps prevent power games from taking root. Make sure everyone knows their responsibilities and what is expected during each activity or game. This clarity reduces confusion and helps people play their part without overstepping. If someone tries to dominate, gently remind the group of the agreed guidelines.

Promoting Reflection and Feedback

After group activities or games, take time to reflect as a team. Ask participants how they felt about the group dynamics and if any power games surfaced. This feedback loop is essential for continuous improvement. It also empowers mentees and mentors to voice concerns, ensuring the mentoring environment remains healthy over time life.

Celebrating Diversity and Fun

A great simple way to build a positive mentoring culture is to celebrate the diversity of your group. Encourage people to share different perspectives during games and activities. Make time for fun—whether it’s a quick team game or a larger group event. When participants enjoy themselves, they are more likely to engage, learn, and support each other, reducing the risk of unhealthy power dynamics.